Microsoft Lies

As I’m sure none of you are aware, my Laptop was flogged from my house last year, by some low IQ and minisculely genitaled fuckwit. This precipitated an insurance claim, which, with the current equivalent (new for old) replacement bearing the bane of all computing mankind, Windows Vista.

Being incredibly bored by my job, I decided to jump on Microsofts website, and check out exactly how vista is supposed to be better than XP… I found (somewhat unsuprisingly) a web (PUN!) of lies.

Here’s just one quote, which I found amusing:

Smoother-performing desktop
When you use Windows Aero, open windows glide across your screen as you move or resize them. You’ll see no redraw artifacts, latency, or “tearing” effects that sometimes appear on existing interfaces. In Windows Aero, you’ll also experience fewer graphics driver–related system failures and stop errors.

Dead set, I wonder if anyone at Microsoft has ever seen Vista on anything other than a graphics super computer!?!?!?

My computer is no small fry in the graphics department, and has more grunt than anything I’ve used previously (yes, it does exceed the standard ‘double the recommended’ minimum required to run MS software), yet, all I ever seem to see from Vista are redraws, tearing, and latency, and before anyone asks if I have Vista video drivers, yes I downloaded them recently, as vista doesn’t come with its own drivers, just to “add to the experience” as MS puts it…

They also seem to say windows vista is quicker, and manages its resources better, about thirteen hundred times, however, I had a race. I have a toshiba satelite, with a 486 dx processor, very little RAM, and no video card, running windows 95, widely acclaimed as the worst waste of resources since the united states.

I put both computers side by side, started the older, slower computer loading Works, the equivalent word processor of the time (I’m sure you all remember it, well, those of you who are old enough), Then I started vista loading word 2007 (which is, in my opinion, quite good), guess who loaded first, yes! the 486! Coming in at around 34 seconds fully settled! Ten minutes later (I stopped timing after about five minutes), vista and word 07 settled, ready for use.

In conclusion, because MS says so, I’m stuck waiting ten minutes to write a letter, which I could have had tapped out five minutes ago. When you buy a car, do you want it to be able to do the speed limit, or calculate the time it takes a car that can go the speed limit to get to your destination, and not achieve that time, because its weighed down by seven tonne of gadgetry?

Streamline your OS Microsoft, let us pick our ‘gadgety special features’.

Does anyone have Apples phone number? Cos even they’re looking better than Vista, though, you know not alot… (an Apple Bashing is coming next post)